Avenger Party
by AvengersASPIRE
Summary: We have a party. Natasha isn't there so Clint took notes. Then Thor wanted to make it into a story. That turned into us writing down practically everything we aren't doing on dangerous missions to make, uh well FanFiction. Is it still called that if its all true? I'm out of my league here... All of that is off topic, sorry. This is the story that started it all. -Bruce Banner
1. The Idea

**Authors' Notes: (We do not own the characters from the Avengers. Others that show up though are ours.) This story is based off of notes taken by Clint and Thor. It was then written by Thor and Bruce. More details at the end.**

* * *

**The Idea**

It started out as an innocent idea - well, as innocent anything proposed by Tony Stark can be. There had been an explosion in a nuclear power lab-nothing critical, but S.H.I.E.L.D. had called in Dr. Bruce Banner to stay on the safe side. After double and triple checking the ground troops' proceedings, Bruce had settled into the lab he usually occupied aboard the Helicarrier. It didn't take long for Tony Stark to make an appearance; it seems like every time Bruce is at a known location, Tony just happens to be nearby.

"Why don't you ever come by the tower?" the billionaire asked for the umpteenth time.

"Tony, I'm busy."

"Doing what? Rechecking data and pretending you don't exist?"

Bruce stuttered for a bit, trying to come up with an answer for that one: "No, I don't . . .I mean, I'm . . ." Then he just sighed and gave up.

That's how Captain Steve Rogers found them an hour later. He paused for a moment while entering to watch Tony flick one of his blueberries at Bruce, who casually moved to dodge the projectile.

"Mr. Stark, do we need a repeat of last time?" Steve asked. "Dr. Banner, nice to see you again," he added, with a nod at Bruce.

"Nice to see you too, Cap," replied Banner, "and it's all right, I can handle blueberries."

"Um, last time was not my fault, even with all the effort I put into it," Tony put in.

"What are you doing here, Stark?" asked Steve.

"Well I thought I would just come by to see my BFF!" At that, Tony draped his arm over Bruce's shoulder.

"Your what?"

"It stands for best friend forever," Banner said, pinching Tony's hand and taking it off his shoulder.

"Owwww! God, do you people never get out?" Steve and Bruce looked at each other, then back at Tony. "Wait, really? Never?"

"I'm not exactly people-friendly."

"And I've been training."

"Well, you've got to take a break from work sometime!"

"I had a break for seventy years; now it's time to work."

"Oh, don't give me that. You need to experience life outside this bubble you've made for yourself," Tony responded. "You too," he said, pointing a finger at Bruce. "We should have a get-together, a boys' night on the town, or something." Steve looked at Tony skeptically, then started to smile.

"You're right, Mr. Stark, we should. Thanks for volunteering your place."

"What?"

"I've been thinking for a while now to have a get-together...you know, team bonding. But I needed a place to put it on at."

"What?" Tony repeated. Bruce shot a conspiratorial glance at Steve.

"My apartment is too small."

"I don't even have a place."

"Thor's from, well, elsewhere."

"And who knows where Clint and Natasha stay."

"So thanks for the offer, and we'll have to take you up on that."

"Again, what?"

"Tony," Bruce said kindly, "we're coming over to your house this weekend."

And that is how Tony Stark's meetings for the weekend were cancelled, his invitations to parties with Hollywood's most notorious declined, and his house in L.A. prepared for what promised to be one of his most interesting events as of late.

Pepper's going to be thrilled.

* * *

It took rather less time than anyone had expected to make the thing official. Recruitment began that afternoon, when Steve stuck his head out the door just as Agent Clint Barton passed by on his way to lunch.

"Clint, we're having a boys' night. 'You in?" the captain asked.

"Who's 'we'?" he replied, immediately suspicious.

"The team."

"Where?"

"One of Tony's places."

"How'd you manage that?"

"Doesn't matter. So?"

Clint imagined everyone over at Tony's house: the billionaire with a knack for ticking people off and destroying his own home; Bruce Banner who is, on occasion, the Hulk; a Norse god who breaks everything he comes in contact with; and a super soldier who, since his sudden arrival in the twenty-first century, had already broken three iPhones, a Blu-ray, and a fridge. Clint smiled.

* * *

"Yeah, I'll be there." He continued on to the Helicarrier's mess hall, struggling to hide his amusement.

Of course, it would be somewhat more complicated to contact the Asgardian... or so they had believed. Tony was deep in thought, trying to solve that very problem when he ran into Thor-so deep in thought, actually, that he literally ran into Thor. He had been walking down a street in New York City (late to a meeting, as usual) when they collided.

_"Hey, watch where you're going, you little-_Oh, it's you, Thor."

"Tony! How art thou?" Thor had a huge smile on his face. It was genuine and it kind of pissed Tony off. He was also in full Asgardian gear, so just about everyone in sight was staring at them. That just pissed Tony off even more. He sighed, feeling none of the relief he ought to have, and explained about the party.

"I shall be attending!"

"Okay, yeah that's great." With that Tony went on his way.

* * *

Convincing Natasha proved to be impossible. Clint, Steve, and Bruce all tried to persuade her that it would be fun, but she refused, claiming she had better things to do. From the way she said it, you inevitably got the sense that by "better things" she meant just about anything.

* * *

**Authors' Notes Con:**

THIS IS A TALE WRITTEN BY BOTH THE GOOD DR. BANNER AND MYSELF. IT IS A REAL LIFE ACCOUNT OF OUR ACTIVITIES. CURRENTLY BRUCE IS BUSY WITH WORKING ON THINGS FOR S.H.I.E.L.D. SO HE IS NOT ABLE TO ADD HIS COMMENTS. HOPEFULLY HE IS FREE NEXT TIME.

I WOULD VERY MUCH ENJOY HEARING WHAT THE PEOPLE OF MIDGARD THINK OF OUR TALE.

_I need to take a break from my work or I'll go nuts. For anyone who's read this far, well, thanks. Glad you find us that interesting. There'll be more. A lot more. This all happened about a year and a half ago, and a lot's happened since. Hope you enjoy reading about it. _

_As Thor said, comments are certainly welcome. Um, I can't think of anything else? And I have a meeting to work on a presentation on comparative transpiration rates and stomatal conductance in 45 minutes, so I'd better get back to work. _

_Also I fixed Thor's spelling on his Author's Notes. I'll try to make sure that's taken care of before publishing next time._


	2. Getting There

******Authors' Notes: (We do not own the characters from the Avengers. Others that show up though are ours.) This story is based off of notes taken by Clint and Thor. It was then written by Thor and Bruce. More details at the end.**

* * *

**Getting There**

Deciding what, exactly, this party would be proved somewhat more challenging than anyone had expected. It turned out that the only one who liked Tony Stark's idea of a night on the town was Tony Stark, and while the others all had ideas, forming them into coherent plans was proving troublesome. This quickly became apparent the next day at lunch. Steve, Bruce, and Clint were sitting around a table in the S.H.I.E.L.D. mess hall discussing the plans for the party. Well, actually Steve and Bruce were discussing them; Clint was playing with his long-since cold mashed potatoes, trying to morph them into the shape of a hawk without much success. So far, Steve and Bruce had decided that they would spend the evening watching movies, and Clint had formed something vaguely birdlike. Unfortunately, it was proving impossible to agree upon what movies to watch, and Clint's further attempts at sculpture resembled some sort of lizard. Temporarily abandoning the problem, Bruce had announced that he also wanted to make a cake, seeing as he would have the use of a kitchen for once. Steve had agreed with that, and they were now in a deep discussion on frosting.

That was when Thor strolled in. It took him a moment to spot them, sitting as they were in the thick of the mess, which was fortunate, since it gave Clint time to move all breakable and pointy things out of harm's way.

"My friends!" boomed Thor as he made his way towards them. This was the cue for all ordinary S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel to move to a further table.

"Ah, Thor," said Steve, making room for the Asgardian, "so we're having a get together at Tony's this weekend."

"I have been told," he stated. The others stared.

"How'd you find out?" asked Bruce.

"Tony hath ran into me earlier." Thor laughed like he was sharing an inside joke. Clint made a note to ask him about later. "He informed me of these plans."

"Yeah, well, we'll be watching movies."

"Can we please watch something modern?" asked Clint. Of course, this didn't fail to rekindle the original argument.

"It's a classic film, they still call it one of the best ever made-" Steve began.

"Look, you've missed seventy years of classic films, and I don't see why we have to-"

"_I _don't see why we have to watch something that's not as good just because it's modern."

"What about that one that won the film fest award? Steve, I bet you'd like that, be openminded-"

"Name one exciting thing that happens in _Casablanca._One thing!"

"What is the cause of your dispute?" asked Thor.

"What movie to watch. Steve wants to see _Casablanca_, Clint wants to see this spy thriller thing, and I'm up for either, but I'd actually like to watch _Take Shelter_, and-"

"Why would you want to watch spy movies?" Steve demanded. "That's like, what you do in real life anyway!"

"Hey, didn't they actually make a whole bunch of documentaries about us recently?" asked Bruce.

"Yeah, I've seen a lot of them. They're pretty good, and the one on the Battle of New York is still in theaters," Clint replied.

"Well, Stark at least would agree to that, watching movies about himself," said Bruce.

"So we're going to spend the whole weekend watching stuff we lived through?" asked Steve.

"This sounds like a wonderful idea. I hath love to see what the people of Midgard think of my great battles," commented Thor.

Steve shrugged, thinking of all the propaganda films of his day. Bruce was trying not to imagine what Tom Brokaw would say about him.

"Well, if we are going to do this, we should go all out. We can act the part of total geeks and dress up and stuff," added Clint. "I know how to make T-Shirts."

It was as good a plan as any.

So it was decided that the Avengers would spent the weekend watching movies about themselves. And that they would play the part of regular people as they went to the theaters.

* * *

And so they headed over to Clint's to make the T-shirts. Well, Bruce, Thor, and Clint did. Tony had excluded himself from the process, claiming that he'd be more or less useless (nobody argued), and since Steve was relying on him for transportation to California, neither were present.

Fortunately, Clint had extra vacation days piled up, because of course high level S.H.I.E.L.D. agents just get so many chances to use them, and was able to get out earlier that Friday. On his way home he swung by and picked up Bruce from his habitual bench in Central Park. Thor had already agreed to meet them in the Denny's on West 44th Street.

They'd all assumed making T-shirts would be relatively easy. The instructions had been simple enough: print the design on the iron-on paper, cut it out, peel the design, iron it on. Of course, it didn't work out quite like that. Or rather, Stark's shirt didn't. They had made Steve's first, and it came out perfect. But nothing in regards to Tony Stark is easy. Ever. Even when he's hundreds of miles away. On their first attempt at the shirt, Bruce didn't cut the design's edge right. On the next try, the design stuck to the iron. They printed another and tried again, but this time they forgot to peel off the backing. They began to wonder if they were cursed, or if Steve's shirt had just been lucky. Perhaps they needed to wash the starch out of the shirts first? In the end, they decided that the universe just hated Tony Stark. That's when Thor came up with a brilliant (he at least thought so) idea.

"We should dance to the T-Shirt gods," he volunteered, as Clint cursed out their latest attempt and Bruce stood in the corner, taking deep breaths.

"_The T-Shirt gods?!_"

"Yes, there are gods for everything and they all appreciate recognition." Bruce and Clint exchanged a glance.

"What harm could it do?" Bruce shrugged.

"So, how does one, ah, dance to the gods?" Clint ventured. Thor smiled broadly.

"Well, you need to fling your arms around like this. And stomp around like this," he said, demonstrating as he talked. "You must also chant!"

"Great."

So while the next iron-on was being attempted, they commenced to, well, um, dance. And unfortunately for Clint and Bruce's dignity, it worked. Which meant they all had to dance for the rest of the T-shirts, too. And all the other shirts worked on the first try. Thor said this was because the gods were appeased. Clint said it was just further proof that the universe hated Tony Stark. He was hanging on to all the ruined arc reactor designs to fling in Tony's face later on.

* * *

_Pick up, pick up, pick up!_Tony thought furiously at those on the other end of the line. _What can be taking them so long?_

"Hello?"

"Clint, where are you?"

"Um, well the shirts are taking longer than expected." There seemed to be some sort of weird music in the background.

"Well, hurry up!"

"Why are you complaining? It's your fault."

"What?"

"Tell you later..."

"Is that the Man of Iron?" Thor's voice boomed. "Does he wish to join us in our dancing?"

"_What?"_

"Never mind, Stark, be there in a bit."

"Don't you dare hang," the line went dead, "Damn, you Barton."

"So, are they coming?" Steve asked. He was currently leaning against the doorway leading to the kitchen, arms crossed.

"They're almost done."

Steve just nodded. Tony gritted his teeth in frustration and started devising a plan on how to get Clint back for forcing him to put up with the Captain for so long.

* * *

After finishing the shirts, Clint, Bruce, and Thor headed out to Stark's. Right as they were leaving, Thor informed them that he need to fetch something and took off. Bruce and Clint were somewhat bemused, but they agreed to rejoin him on their way to the mansion. The two of them followed in the Quinjet.

Thor had chosen a rather obscure location to meet them at, and so Clint and the pilot ended up fighting about where they were going for most of the time it took to get there. Once they did arrive, they found Thor, burdened with presents for everybody. Ah, Asgardian hospitality. The pilot, an old friend of Clint's, found this amusing, and he and Clint traded wisecracks for most of the journey.

After Barton hung up on him, Tony sat down at his desk to work. Or not really work, but he figured he ought to keep up appearances in front of Steve. Not that it really ended up mattering: barely two minutes later the super soldier was sound asleep. One minute, Steve was sitting on the bed looking over Tony's shoulder asking annoying questions. The next, he was passed out. Tony mentally shrugged, snapped a picture-you never knew when you might need blackmail-and went back to work.

* * *

**Authors' Notes Con:**

THIS HAS NOW BEEN WRITTEN FOR OVER A FULL SOLAR CYCLE. I DO NOT KNOW WHY WE HAVE NOT PUT IT UP FOR YOU ALL. _Yeah, sorry about the delay. We'll try to be more punctual in the future._

_This chapter is. . . a bit of a window into our haphazard decision making process in situations not involving averting global catastrophes? Also, I can't say dancing to the T-shirt gods actually causes success, but I will admit there does appear to be a distinct correlation. Correlation, not causation. And who knows? I'm a particle physicist writing autobiographical fan fiction with a Norse god. The universe is a big, strange place._

_As always, comments are welcome, and hope you enjoy the story. _


End file.
